I always felt mentors are always needed to guide us. Even Indian Gods and Heroes like Ram and Arjun had mentors or teachers that guided them in time of need (Simba had Mufasa). Multiple TED speakers confirmed this idea. But, recently I interacted with people who told me that mentoring is no use to them. And that they are different than most other people and wanted to make their own mistakes and learn. As you might have guessed, these people were younger than me. Not sure this has something to do with being young and fearless. I offered to mentor two young guys via the Anatarang Foundation in Mumbai. These are extremely smart young guys (in their late teens) from the lower-middle-class community in Mumbai. Both were looking for guidance on career, interviewing, and spoken English. Our initial meeting went well but subsequent interactions have been sporadic at best. Maybe their time with me is not very useful to them. I am trying to get some feedback so I can be useful to them and others in the future.
I am trying to reconcile my belief and the wishes of the younger generation. What is the middle ground that we can meet on without them feeling boxed in? I believe mentoring is needed while making key life-altering decisions and when you need to achieve an important skill for your future success. For example, if you are trying to choose Career A versus Career B or Taking up a new Job Y or stay at Job X. For non-native English speakers, when you want to learn skills like interviewing, resume writing, presentation skills, counselors/trainers are a must for success (Antarang helps with this). These decisions or forks in the road are very important to many and most in this world don't have the luxury to come back to the fork and take a different decision. Mentor and Coach can help here if the advice is "heard". There are other life decisions where you need DON'T a teacher or mentor. You can be your own person. You can make your mistakes, learn from them, and come back from them. These could be lifestyle choices, your passion projects, small investment decisions, etc.
For success - The mentee and mentor must accept each other with their virtues and flaws. I read somewhere that the relationship should be sealed with a verbal confirmation. Like, I always ask my mentor - "Will you please be my mentor" And, the mentor must acknowledge that she or he will mentor you. Most formal mentoring programs have signed agreements. This is essential for a committed mentoring relationship.
The Indian youth are more confused than ever with a multitude of choice available to them. And there are many understanding counselors and mentors around to coach all of them. The high-end counselors are well trained by financially out of reach. Others are still stuck in traditional methods of testings and spoon-feeding options. Our generation wants to explore. They don't want to be told what to do. They just want us to narrow down the available choices into a few suitable ones and what they can offer them. This can only be achieved through one-on-one mentoring. It can be done in larger groups but some will slip through the crack like they do not. I believe NO ONE should be left behind.
I am still learning how to be a good mentor and how to motivate people to seek mentoring. Presently, I am trying to read books on Millennial Psychology. But, love to hear your ideas on coaching and mentoring so I can learn quicker. Do you feel differently than my thoughts?
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